Call me Jonah

Today, my name is Jonah.

God is telling me to go somewhere.
Literally, go to Haiti. It's not easy, it's not care-free, it's full of work, and pain, and hard lessons.

And I keep running.
I want to go somewhere that's easy and care-free. I don't want to face all of the people telling me I can't do it. I don't want to face my own fears and insecurities that are telling me I can't do it.

I need friends to throw me overboard. I need to be shaken out of my bubble.

Today, just as the sailors threw Jonah into the sea to face God and once again put his faith in Him, my friend is making me stop running. Making me stop and look up.

I have a confession. I'm scared. I worry. I melt into a puddle of tears so easily. I've strayed from the Word. My prayer life sucks. And I'm learning the hard way just how bad I am when I try to go it alone.

I sometimes almost always think I can take care of myself. I can plan my own life. I can do it without help. And it's times like these, when the big scary move-to-a-3rd-world-country things hit that I realize that I'm drowning without Him. I can run as hard and as fast as I can but I won't get anywhere.

So I stop and am dumped overboard in faith that I'll land in God's grace, even when I deserve to sink to the bottom. Just please God, let's avoid the big fish part - I don't even like seafood!


Off to Nineveh Haiti I go!
~ Jonah KEZ