My broken but beating heart

So...despite this post right here in which I make my future seem sure and solid, I do not know things. One of the things that I didn't know when typing that post is that a week and a half later I was to receive an email rescinding the offer for me to come to Haiti. I was not provided details as to why - I was merely told point blank.

I'M NOT MOVING TO HAITI IN AUGUST

So there it is: the news I've been avoiding blogging about, telling people about, and thinking about. But it's time. Time to rip off the bandaid that I slapped over my wounds and expose my broken heart to the world.

I've gone through a range of emotions - sadness, confusion, anger, bitterness - none of which I really want to detail out on my blog. But I do want to share the peace that has come out of crying out to God. It has taken many good friends and wise counsel for me to see God's goodness. No, I may not tangibly see the "good" yet but I'm ever reminded of His promises. And in faith, that is enough for now. His ways are not my ways. He knows the plans He has for me. He promises to continue the work He has begun in me unto completion.

So I take my broken but beating heart and I move forward. I seek His face and count it all joy. Joy a midst the sorrow. I do not know yet exactly where I am going or what I'll be doing but I know that in it all, I'll never be alone - my Savior will be with me every step of the way.