Quickly...

Just popping in briefly to say that I'm thinking and praying about something big for next year. I don't have it all worked out yet so I can't share what it is yet. Just please be praying for wisdom, guidance, and peace about where God is leading me.

Prayer for a stranger

I would love to write about the beginning of my spring semester but for now I will live you with a short little story.

Today after class I hopped on the bus to head home. A few stops later an older woman got on, walking with a cane - possibly homeless. It crossed my mind to stand up and give her my seat (there weren't many left) but she found one in the back so I ignored her and continued playing with my phone. We continued on and all of the sudden I hear this horrible hacking noise. The old woman had a terrible, terrible cough. It was just this dry unproductive hack. She would have a coughing fit, take a few breaths, and then go right into another fit. I stared hearing comments of people saying "ew" or "ugh" and I was a little grossed out at first - who knows what she has!

But in the midst of my silent complaint I felt this pull on my heart. I HAD to pray for this woman. While I was too chicken to go sit with her, chat with her, and pray in person with her I was GOING to pray. I sat there on the bus and just prayed for this woman. I prayed for her health, for her cough, for her life. I confessed my unwillingness to get messy and simply talk to her. I prayed that someone out there has or will talk to her and share the gospel with her. I prayed that God might reveal himself to her - that someone in her life might share the Good News and she would come to know Christ (if she doesn't already).

As I was praying her fits of coughing became decreased and she was able to breathe normally for a while. I was thankful for that. I don't know God works but I do pray that He does heal her if it is His will.

I don't know if I will see this woman again - maybe I will, maybe I won't. I don't know if I'll talk to her next time - maybe I will, maybe I won't. But that's ok. God knows. =)

Where are all the christians?

Do you ever wonder where the christians are in this world? They're not visible in day-to-day life. Come out, come out wherever you are!

When there's a little girl at school who is picked on, has a bad family life, and eats lunch alone...where are the christians to invite her to youth group and do homework together?

When a middle class man loses his job and can no longer provide for his family...where are the christians to pray for him, buy him a weeks worth of groceries, and help him job search?

When a young girl in college becomes pregnant, considers an abortion, and cries more days that not...where are the christians to offer her comfort, wisdom, and love her no matter the decision?

Come out, come out wherever you are! It's time we come out of hiding.

Jesus wants to accept, heal, and love these people with open arms. And He wants to use US to do it. He wants His church--the body of Christ to go, see, and reach. But we...I...sit here cowering. What's that saying about me?

My faith is so little. But God is so big.

I am weak. But God is strong.

I can't. But He can.

Inaccurate blog title as of late

I just realized how incorrect my blog title is recently. I haven't blogged about Jesus recently. I haven't blogged about following Him either. I wonder if that is indicative of my life right now. It probably is.

I have to be honest (and being honest on the internet is no small feat) and confess that I struggle. I am struggling. I feel like my walk with Christ is one step forward, two steps back. I know that the step forward is only because of HIS work in me and nothing to do with my own strength...but the two steps back is just the opposite. I try to build myself up, work harder, be better by myself and all that happens is I find myself further from God. The point is, a lot of the time I find myself running full force away from God. Or trying to at least

WHAT??? That's  not what a good christian is supposed to say. That's not what a good christian is supposed to do.

I'm not a good christian. I am a sinner.


It is only by the grace of God that I am not allowed to run. No matter how hard I try He reigns me in, turns me to face Him, shows me His love and the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. It is out of this that anything I do can be considered good - fruit of the Holy Spirit that resides in me.

It's not easy following Jesus. But it's not impossible with Christ. And it's not something I can stop doing. It is my life's work to follow Him but it's also my life's joy to follow Him - for He is the creator of both work and joy.

So what does this mean? I devote myself again and again to His will. I pray for Him to be present in my life. I listen for the Spirit within me. And even when I fail to do all of these things well, He takes heart and shepherds me home anyway.